Percolating on the LA Rams’ RB options: “The Usual Suspects”

Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports
Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports /
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LA Rams News
Mandatory Credit: Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports /

Coach speak mode activated

Wait, isn’t this the same rationale we heard from the team earlier about why they chose to not grab a center in this year’s draft? “Oh, we like who we have on the roster already. We wanna see who emerges from that crop, we kinda’ like the guys we got,” or some version of that.

Then, it’s quickly followed up by that godawful and dreadful “Next man up” tagline. Just makes you wanna hurl when you hear that particular football bromide.

Wonder which NFL coach was responsible for coining that “next-man-up” line, for introducing that cliche into the NFL lexicon. Sounds Belichekian, doesn’t it? Whomever it was, penalty flag for unsportsmanlike conduct, to be assessed at the point of the foul, loss of down.

It’s just, well, tired, overused, hackneyed. Moth-eaten. Been trotted out too many times before by too many NFL coaches staring into the klieg lights of the cameras before they make their obligatory media access talks they secretly must despise doing at all in the first place, especially after a loss. (You know they do. You can see it in their eyes. Everybody takes a page outta’ Belichek’s media playbook now.)

You can almost see little thought bubbles floating over The Hoodie’s head when he speaks. Whatever I say up here at this podium, I must not give anything away. Must shroud everything in platitudes that mean zip. . . yet sound complete, informative. Feed the media minions just enough drivel to make ’em feel sated and go away. Let me get back to my Xs and Os.

Except for us fans, its like eating “enriched” bleached flour white Wonder bread. Little more than processed air.

Rams head coach McVay’s not much different in this regard, but at least he occasionally lapses into a raspy Mike Tomlin-esque sort of rah-rah-rah, testosterone-IV drip of coach-speak. (which keeps things a tad more interesting, but doesn’t afford us any more informational nutrition.)

We need more “The Bears were who we thought they were!” out of its NFL coaches’ mouths, and less “Next man up, we like our current guys.” Much less.

Besides, we fans can name that tune in three notes.

Si, Senor, we’ve heard it before. Spare us more coach-speak. Talk to the hand.}