LA Rams NFC West Rival 49ers: What’s that mattress doin’ on your head?

Mandatory Credit: Stan Szeto-USA TODAY Sports
Mandatory Credit: Stan Szeto-USA TODAY Sports /

Amidst all the criticism leveled (mea culpa) at the LA Rams “two-banana” two-bit helmet design, at least it doesn’t look like, Ummm, whatever this is that was spotted in the San Francisco Niners training camp. Did a turtle crawl on that guy’s head and die?  Did someone pull a fast one on the guy and glue packing foam to his helmet?

You can get the image of what all this calamity is over by checking out Yahoo Sports Kyle Madison’s update on the San Francisco 49ers at this link: What is THIS helmet?

Pictured wearing jersey number 96 is the 49ers defensive lineman Maurice Hurst . . . but he’s battling an ANKLE injury, not a head injury or a concussion! (WTF?)

Is that the NFL’s new “concussion protocol” rehab helmet? Is that just the inner padding of some new-fangled helmet that’s as yet to be revealed?

Wait, he’s wearing it ON TOP of his regular helmet? A double dose of CTE safety protection? Kinda like a proposed third “booster” for Covid?

Did a mattress and an Olympic-style boxing headgear and a Ridell have a threesome?

Or, did a mattress just drop a deuce on your head?

Did the My Pillow company decide to enter the NFL helmet market? (If so, then Ridell and Schutt – the so-called legacy brands among NFL helmets – got nothing to worry about).

But then Riddell and Schutt, gotta worry about some relative newcomers by the names of VICIS and Xenith entering the market. New innovations, new materials, new helmet design concepts popping up all over all the time now. Could be one of those upstarts. Maybe we just got a glimpse of one of their prototypes.

Yeah, a prototype. Like the carboard they put around the new Dodge Viper to conceal its most dramatic design changes before they unleashed it to the public.

Ya know, like a new radical re-design of an automobile.  They try to keep it under wraps for as long as possible, but then allow a few prototypes to get strategically leaked out to the press – tease the buying public.

Actually, and all kidding aside, that turtle-shell contraption is called a “Guardian Cap” and it’s made by a materials engineering company out of Atlanta with the same name which also produces materials for impact for the military, soft playgrounds, and assisted living homes. The concept is designed to absorb up to 33 percent of the force of the player-to-player collision.

But I have a better conclusion: When you’re the San Francisco 49ers and you’ve had as many injuries occur on your team as they endured last season, maybe they are just being extra cautious in training camp and pre-season.

Hot. LA Rams: Stafford’s lyin' eyes highlight Week 1 Training camp recap. light

READ: When your team’s as soft as a Porta-Potty deposit after a Taco Bell midnight run, well, you do what you gotta do.

Here, put this mattress helmet over the top of your Riddell.

Bubble-wrap that noggin. Never can be too careful.